


A Life That's Empty

by ComicBooksBro



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Castiel Confesses Feelings for Dean Winchester, Castiel's Deal with the Shadow, Determined Dean Winchester, Love Confessions, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Post-Season/Series 15, Sad, Unrequited Love, no beta we die like cas might in ep18
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:07:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26657881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComicBooksBro/pseuds/ComicBooksBro
Summary: In which Dean finds put about Cas' empty deal, and Cas makes a confession.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester (sort of), Jack Kline & Dean Winchester
Comments: 9
Kudos: 35





	A Life That's Empty

It was late, between 2:30 and 4:15, the time of the night in which no one had any business being awake.

Dean was standing at the counter in the kitchen, slicing bell peppers, when Jack entered. The kid looked nervous, he was jumpy, and glanced over his shoulder no less than five times on his way to Dean. Satisfied that no one was following him, he turned to Dean, a pensive and thoughtful look on his face.

“What’s wrong, Jack?” Dean asked, scraping the pepper slices into a bowl and cutting the top off of another. Sam had wanted them for some... some _something_ and Dean had the time and the peppers and—okay, maybe he was stress-cooking everything they had in the kitchen, but that was better than drinking his feelings. So what if he was a little stressed? They were going to try to kill God in a few days, he could afford it.

“Would you keep a secret if it could hurt someone?”

Dean paused his vegetable mutilation and directed all of his attention to Jack. “Hurt them how?”

“They could die.”

Dean’s stomach twisted, _who was Jack talking about?_ “Tell.” He resumed chopping, a little more anxiously this time. It was just their luck, one last curveball before the end of the world. Killer secrets... they had all had a few over the years, but that didn’t make them any more tolerable, or healthy.

“Cas made a deal with the empty,” Jack blurted out, then clapped his hands over his mouth and looked around. Fortunately, the surrounding rooms seemed to be empty.

Dean nearly dropped his knife. “Cas did _what?“_

“You have to promise not to bring it up! I’m the only one who is supposed to know. I just needed to tell you because I’m afraid he’s going to do something stupid.”

Dean sighed heavily and clenched and unclenched his fists. He couldn’t lose Cas again, not like this, not when they were so close to the end. “Terms,” he said tersely, trying to keep his voice from shaking. “What were the terms?”

“It will take him when he’s happy.” Jack explained, a mournful look on his face. "When he can't hide it."

“What would make him happy?” Dean asked, already trying to work out a way to get Cas out of his deal.

Jack swallowed and bit his lip. “After beating Chuck? You.”

* * *

God was dead.

“God’s dead, and we killed him,” Dean laughed, raising his bottle of beer and clinking it against Sam’s. Sam just smiled, took a sip of his beer, and relaxed further into the chair he was slumped across. Jack was actually laying over the end of the table, his legs hanging off the edge. The kid was exhausted—they all were, really—and rightfully so; it wasn’t every day you killed God.

Cas had been sitting at the head of the table opposite of Jack, but had disappeared a few minutes ago. Dean looked around, hoping to spot him, but came up with nothing. He was just about to leave the war room and look for him when Cas grabbed his shoulder.

“Dean.”

Dean jumped, then turned around and looked at the angel. “Yeah, Cas?”

“I... I have something I need to tell you.” He looked over to Sam and Jack, who seemed unaware of the intense emotion Cas seemed to be radiating. Jerking his head in the direction of the hallway, Cas headed that way, and Dean followed him.

They were far enough away so that the others couldn’t hear what was said. Dean leaned against the wall opposite Cas with a concerned look on his face. Cas looked nervous—really nervous. Dean didn’t think he had ever seen the angel so uncomfortable, and he had seen Cas _quite_ uncomfortable before.

“What’s up?” He asked.

Cas cleared his throat—a strangely human action—and started to speak. “I know we’ve had our share of... _disagreements_ over the years...” He started, unconsciously picking at his fingernails in worry. “But we’re still friends.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, ‘course, Cas. We’re practically family.” A cold prickle in his gut told him to have a bad feeling about this.

“Okay, good.” Cas took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he was about to say. “I...” Another deep breath. “We have a profound bond, Dean. We are close, but what I feel for you goes beyond that.”

 _No._ Dean stomach dropped through the floor. _Not this._

“I love you—not as a friend, not as a brother, I—“ Cas sighed. “This is harder than I thought it would be.” He wiped his hands on his trench coat. “I love you.”

_“What would make him happy?"_

_“You.”_

The tips of Cas’ ears went pink. “I can only hope you feel the same way.”

“I don’t.” Dean forced out, sickened at the wrongness of his words. _I love you, too! I just can't stand to lose you again._ “You’re like my brother.” _Why are you saying this now, if you know what will happen?_ “I couldn’t—besides, I like... I like—“

“Girls.” Cas finished for him, trying to hide the disappointment on his face. “Thank you, Dean, for hearing me out. You can return to...” He waved in the direction of the others.

Dean nodded and gave Cas and awkward pat on the shoulder. “Yeah.”

“I must leave. There are things I need to attend to in heaven.”

“Yeah.” Now that he knew what Cas wanted it was hard to restrain himself from pulling Cas into his arms and kissing him breathless. (Or, well, as breathless as you could kiss an angel.) “I’ll see you later?” _I hope._

Cas nodded, and left.

 _I did the right thing._ Dean told himself on his way to rejoin the others, any urge to celebrate suddenly gone. His mind was focused on Cas now, and how to get him out of the mess he was stuck in.

Jack told him that The Empty said there were no loopholes and no take-backs, but Dean was a Winchester—and if there was one thing Winchesters could do, it was get out of deals.

One way or another, he would find a way out of this.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos appreciated!
> 
> <3


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